What Islam Actually Says About Wives | Honest Khuthba by Apostate Scholar

Sources (more found in comments)

1.Wife beating:

Abdulkareem Al-Lahim (Was a famous Qadi for Saudi Arabia's Shar' court):

First paragraph:
Clarification of the extent of the beating:
The beating of a wife should not exceed ten lashes.
Second paragraph:
The evidence:
The evidence for not exceeding ten lashes in disciplining a woman is the hadith: (No one should be flogged more than ten lashes except for a prescribed punishment of God).

Majmu' Fatawa Al-Kuwait:

When striking a wife for disobedience or for any other reason, the striking must be neither severe nor bloody, and the face and frightening places must be avoided.

Muhammad Siqi:

Islamic law permits striking a disobedient wife, but the husband is not allowed to beat her severely, break her bones, or disfigure her face.

The book "Islamic Criminal Legislation Compared to actionable Law" states:

The prevailing opinion in the Shafi'i and Ahmad schools of thought is that a husband has the right to beat his wife, whether the transgression is repeated or not, and whether the beating was preceded by admonition and separation or not. The argument of those who hold this opinion is that the punishments for transgressions

The Explanation of Bulugh al-Maram - Al-Lahimid:

What are the conditions for striking one's wife in this situation?
First: It must not be severe, meaning it should not be too harsh or severe or retaliatory, and the face and vital organs must be avoided.
Second: The face must be avoided.

The book "Sahih Fiqh al-Sunnah wa Adillatuhu wa Tawdih Madhahib al-A'immah" states:

That the beating be for disciplinary purposes and not severe, breaking the spirit but not the bone.
That the beating cease and be prohibited if she obeys her husband.

I think that's enough for this.

Also her marriage contract isn't void if he beats her since it is his right as an authoritive figure.

Islamic Rulings - Muhammad ibn Abdul Aziz al-Musnad:

Chapter: Does Striking One's Wife Invalidate the Marriage Contract?
Answer: No, it does not invalidate it. However, striking her without cause is forbidden. If there is a reason, such as fear of disobedience, then scholars say that any striking should be non-injurious, meaning not severe. If he strikes her in this situation, the marriage remains valid and is not invalidated because she has acted in a manner that warrants such action, namely, disobedience.

Notice how he said "Fear of disobedience" and not the actual act.

The opinion is usually split between steps of escalation and what not. Depends on what madhabs you follow.

2.Mehr necessitating sexual submission

A wife is only entitled to her mehr if the man has sex with her.
It's called "تحليل البضع" or "شراء البضع" which literally translates to "Making a vagina halal"

Al-Nawawī:
The first scenario is that they are both compelled to submit, with the husband ordering the dowry to be placed with a just person, and the wife being ordered to submit. If she submits, the just person delivers the dowry to her. The second scenario is that neither of them is compelled, but if one of them takes the initiative and submits, the other is compelled. The third scenario is that the husband is compelled first, and if he submits, she submits.

Ibn al-Qasim: if the husband refuses to hand over the dowry until she submits herself, and she refuses to submit herself until the dowry is paid, the husband is compelled, then the wife and if he gives it to her and she refuses without excuse, he has the right to reclaim it.

Al-Rafi'i quoting Sheikh Abu Hamid's opinion:
Sheikh Abu Hamid: The difference is that the dowry is due in exchange for the woman's vagina, and ownership of the woman's vagina is established by the marriage contract. Maintenance is due in exchange for the ability to enjoy the woman's sexual relations, and the ability to enjoy sexual relations necessitates the possibility of sexual relations.

(This was in then discussing whether mehr is paid to the prepubescent girl who can't handle intercourse)

4.Al-Mawardi agreeing with Imam-Shaffi about the case of two adults :
As for the first scenario, which is when both parties are adults: she has the right to refuse to submit herself upon receiving the dowry, and he has the right to refuse to pay the dowry in order for her to submit herself.

As for adult husband and young girl: She is not entitled to maintenance because, according to the new law, maintenance is only required by the contract and the establishment of possession.

Al-Baghawy:
If a free woman receives the dowry, she must submit herself to the husband, if she is capable of intercourse.
I want you to notice the wording used. I used Google translate, so these are all not my explicit translation. Even then, the translation says things like "ownership" and "Submit"